A Modest Member of Parliament [Bert Kelly], “The search for instant popularity,” The Australian Financial Review, June 26, 1970, p. 3. Reprinted in Economics Made Easy (Adelaide: Brolga Books, 1982), pp. 12-14, as “Northern Development.”

My wife Mavis is just about frantic to find a wave of enthusiasm for me to ride to the firm beach of popularity. And ever since I wrote that foolish article questioning immigration the need for instant popularity has become more urgent than ever.

So Mavis and I have been wracking our brains for a subject about which I could pound the ears of my party branch meetings during the winter recess.

We have now come up with “Northern Development” as the big, new subject.

This idea has immediate attractions. First, not many people know much about northern development so my own ignorance will probably pass unnoticed. And, anyhow, I have discovered since I became an M.P. that ignorance of a subject is no barrier to eloquence.

And I have also noticed that the further you live from problems, the easier solutions appear.

For instance, the good citizens of Melbourne are recognised for having the most firmly fixed ideas about Aborigines, kangaroos and northern development.

Distance evidently lends enchantment (or something) to the view.

So Mavis and I picked on Northern Development. And I became almost excited when I started to study the subject.

There were many fine, flowing phrases lurking there, like “untapped natural resources” or “our immense national heritage” and even “the desert shall blossom as the rose,” although I admit the last has rather a tinny sound since Eccles’ lectures on irrigation.

And when I found that the rainfall of Katherine was a magnificent 35in compared with that of my own farm of about 18in, then I felt that I had really struck pay dirt and I almost decided to go up there and have a look for myself.

But I’m glad I didn’t now. It wasn’t Eccles who stopped me in my tracks this time, but Fred the farmer. I thought that Fred would be all excited to hear about the new frontiers opening up before him, but he wasn’t.

The reason was that he had been there.

He began by saying that the very wet “Wet” and the very dry “Dry” season of the Northern Territory posed very grave agricultural problems, particularly when coupled with the high temperatures at germination time.

And old Eccles chimed in, saying that he had read that there is hardly a cash crop known to tropical agriculture that hasn’t been tried and proved an economic failure in the Top End at least 50 years ago.

He even went so far as to suggest I ought to read the Forster Report which evidently deals with the subject in a dull way.

Then both of them together started to talk about Humpty Doo rice and Tipparary grain sorghum and said that these were grim modern examples of people rushing in with lots of enthusiasm, courage and money, and no sense at all.

Then old Fred told me some of the successes, how an annual legume called Townsville lucerne looked as if it was going to do for northern Australia was sub clover had done for the south.

He evidently knew of many examples where, by wise planning and courageous spending, Townsville lucerne had been established over big areas of the Top End and how this was altering the whole structure of the cattle industry — the natural industry of the area.

But the story of the gradual spread of a dull plant like Townsville lucerne doesn’t seem like much of a subject for eloquence, not nearly so exciting as “feeding the hordes of Asia” and that kind of thing.

So Mavis and I have decided not to go North, but instead I am going to get some slides about northern Australia from the tourist bureau and I am hopeful that we will be able to give some quite nice talks about the subject.

We will just have to hope that no one turns up who knows the area!