A Modest Farmer [Bert Kelly], “Politicians become bully boys over IAC report,” The Australian Financial Review, September 12, 1980, p. 13. Reprinted in Economics Made Easy (Adelaide: Brolga Books, 1982), pp. 228-30, as “Defence of I.A.C.”

Some weeks ago I heard the Premier of Victoria, Mr Hamer, make a resounding attack on the Industries Assistance Commission (I.A.C.), claiming that its report on the textile, clothing and footwear (T.C.F.) industries was deplorable and was the work of “theoretical academics” and so should immediately be thrown into the waste paper basket. I was a bit startled at the vehemence of Mr Hamer’s attack on people not in a position to defend themselves, but this seems to be becoming an increasingly common way to behave these days. It now seems permissible to publicly bully people who cannot answer back if they have the courage to tell the good and great what they do not want to hear. Mr Fraser does it frequently; perhaps there is a bullying streak in Victorians which is absent in lesser mortals.

However startled I was by Mr Hamer’s attack on the I.A.C., I am still enough of a loyal Liberal political hack to quickly put any rebellious thoughts from me. “If Mr Hamer says this, it must be right,” I said quickly. “He has been Premier of Victoria for a long time now and he is a very nice Liberal. Who am I to argue with him?”

Then I sought Fred out and asked him to join me in poking fun at Eccles because he too is one of the wretched academics. “You must have noticed that he is getting above himself lately, Fred; he has been laying down the law about almost everything. I have even heard him criticising farmers. Let’s go down to his ivory tower and give him a touch of the whip for being an academic,” I suggested, and Fred graciously agreed.

When we reached Eccles’ lair, I went on the attack straight away accusing him of being an academic who was indifferent to the suffering caused by his arid economic arguments. “Why, you are almost as bad as the academics in the I.A.C. who have had the temerity to offend the Premier of Victoria by writing a report on the T.C.F. industries which he finds offensive,” I said to him severely, “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Then I metaphorically handed my poking stick over to Fred, fully expecting him to carry on where I had left off. But when he heard that he was supposed to support Mr Hamer in his attack on the I.A.C., it was me he used the stick on and not Eccles, and he set about me furiously.

He began by pointing out that the export industries were carrying a grievous burden by protecting the T.C.F. industries and the weight of the burden was at least $750 million a year. Yet in spite of this cost, and in spite of the unfair quota system which gave assistance to some people while denying it to others, employment in the industries fell rather than rose. “And yet you have the nerve to support Mr Hamer’s cowardly attack on the I.A.C.,” he bellowed with his eyes blazing, “just because they had the courage to spell out what everyone except cowardly politicians and pressure groups who want to continue getting their trotters into the trough, have known for years.” Then he beat me again with the stick he was supposed to be using on Eccles.

He then went off in a long and strong defence of the I.A.C., demonstrating that he knew a lot more about the I.A.C.’s report than Eccles or I had ever been able to knock into his thick head. “Who has been getting at you? Where did you learn all this?” I asked querulously. Then Fred explained that his farmers’ organisation had been concentrating on the T.C.F. report and they had had a long lecture on the subject recently. “Given by another wretched academic, I suppose,” I said sourly. “Who was it anyway?”

When Fred told me that the lecturer was Mr Don Eckersley, the President of the National Farmers Federation (N.F.F.), I went quite pale. Anyone less like an academic than Mr Eckersley I have yet to meet. His face is like an ironstone cliff, his smile is like an alligators grin and his hand grip is like a steam shovel. And he received the Farmer of the Year award. There may be some foolish people who try to find fault with Mr Eckersley, but no one could brand him as an academic without making themselves look ridiculous.

The N.F.F. have a very clear picture of the damage farmers have suffered by the lavish protection handed out to the T.C.F. group and they tried to do something about it. “Now you go off and lick the shiny boots of your wretched Mr Hamer and tell him that there are a lot of us, farmers, miners, poor simple consumers, and many others who resent his cowardly attack on the I.A.C.” Fred said sourly. “And if he wants to go on with it, you can give him my address, and a lot of other people who feel as I do will come round and chew his ear.” Then he gave me another welt with his stick.

And all this time Eccles hadn’t said a word!