John Singleton, “CANCER COUNTRY,” Advertising & Newspaper News, May 14, 1971, p. 4; see also “Cancer country continued,” Advertising News, April 28, 1972, pp. 4, 19.

In the eternal quest for eternal life there are those who believe it would be safer not to get out of bed in the morning.

There are others who believe that the removal of cigarette advertising will mean immediate eternal life for all.

Idiocy though it may be, cigarette advertising was removed from the TV stations of America on January 2 this year, which must rate as one of the all time dumb new year resolutions.

Naturally now in Australia the same mickey mouse forces are actively at work.

Smoking causes cancer; cancer is bad for you; the people must be protected from themselves.

Therefore, the product must not be advertised.

The thinking is as stupid as it is dangerous.

I have been supplied with some interesting statistics.

The motor car is involved in many road accidents. Some really fatal.

Why oh why does the chicken venture to cross the road?

Fatty foods make you fat.

Coca-Cola decays your teeth.

Walking in the country with the fresh air and the sun is a frequent cause of snake bite.

Dogs bite, telephones create tension.

Swimming causes drowning and marriage causes divorce.

And believe it or not, some recent scientific evidence shows some link between booze and falling under trains.

Whatever can we do about these problems?

We could go back to the beginning. Suggest that people do not get out of bed in the morning. But most deaths do in fact, occur in this safe and cosy spot.

We could try prohibition of all these things. But I believe that was once previously introduced with dubious results for everyone except Robert Stack.

So the easiest way out; the easiest way for the Government and the academics and all the other dumb-dumbs is to remove the icing from the cake. And the icing is advertising.

You see the consumer at large has been conned by industry that advertising is the evil and the product is the good.

The public has been conned that advertising makes people buy things they do not want. It makes people do things they do not want to do.

This is one hundred per cent unadulterated crap and any person venturing into the business world with such misconception will quickly learn better or go broke. Or both.

It is unfortunate that the academics are trained by academics in the universities, the pyramids, of the 1970’s.

And it is doubly unfortunate that these theorists and law drafters and theory thinkers never sell vacuum cleaners door to door; before they run our country.

Their minds say: Cigarettes cause cancer.

Advertising is to blame.

In the U.S.A. in January it became illegal to advertise cigarettes on TV and radio; although entirely legal in any other media.

This proves that even the Government is smart enough to realize that TV is the next most effective medium to the apostles and the Avon ladies.

It also proves that the Government has no idea of why people smoke.

Before World War I tobacco was chewed. This was very ballsy.

Then in World War II, tobacco in cigarette form evolved as very blood and guts, and women in the quest for masculinity also started to smoke in millions.

Smoking is man. Man is evil. Everyone wants to be evil because evil is easy.

Which is why kids prefer Coke to milk.

Which is why grown-up kids smoke.

Which is why banning of cigarette advertising in any form is so dumb. Because all it does is make smoking more evil, therefore more man.

If you doubt me it should be noted that in the U.S.A. in the next year prior to the ban, with anti-cancer commercials running one for one with cigarette commercials and Hamilton Burger losing yet another case, with all this cancer laden atmosphere, all cigarette sales rose and Marlboro the cigarette with the most masculine image, actually jumped 17 per cent to grab 10 per cent of the total market.

So you can imagine how many tongues were in how many cheeks when the powers that be proudly announced this nation’s mighty new steps toward eternal life for all people in all electorates.

No cigarette advertising between four and 7:30 p.m. during the week and none before 7:30 on Sunday’s, Christmas Day and Good Friday.

I just hope that no one thinks that such a move will do anything but increase cigarette sales.

Cigarettes are evil. Evil is man.

This latest move only tends to prove the fact and I wish I had shares in Marlboro.

You see despite this latest move I still doubt that people will live forever.

The Government has a right to protect the majority from the minority. And as such the Government has a right to control our environment from the pollution of selfish industry.

But no government has the right to protect man from himself, from his own self-pollution.

  1. Because it is an infringement of human rights.
  2. Because it can never work and is therefore a waste of money belonging to the very people the Government seeks to protect.
  3. Because I don’t want anyone telling me that smoking is bad for me and Vietnam is good for me.