by Viv Forbes, winner of the 1986 Australian Adam Smith Award for “outstanding services to the free society”

We have three problems in Queensland, all created or made worse by the federal government.

Firstly, Canberra is about to drain our savings using the Gillard carbon tax.

Secondly, the Greens want to close every coal mine, promising that non-existent Green power plants will keep the lights on.

Thirdly, orchardists and small towns are besieged by plagues of flying, squealing fruit bats which are protected by Canberra.

Here is the solution to all three problems.

Use Canberra’s carbon tax receipts to build a wall of wind turbines around every orchard and town plagued by flying foxes.

Three problems solved.

We get our carbon tax money back, Greens get their sacred green windmills, and the scything blades slice up the invading foxes (humanely of course).

But be sure to stock up on candles and ear plugs.