Bert Kelly, August 26, 1981. Economics Made Easy (Adelaide: Brolga Books, 1982), pp. 203-06, as “Charabanc (b)”.
Last week I told you that, after Sir Phillip Lynch had warned the occupants of the Australian Car Industry charabanc that he was not going to do any more back seat driving because the previous government interventions had proved so disastrous, he took his hands away from his over-riding steering wheel in the back seat and released his handbrake and away we went. I was impressed with the smoothness of our take off until I realised that we were just coasting down hill. When I expressed surprise about this, I was told that the car industry had been going down hill ever since about 1964 when the government started interfering. Evidently our charabanc was only built to go down hill.
We had only gone a few miles down the track when there was a great commotion in the front seat where the five manufacturers sat. After a lot of threshing around the Chrysler driver jumped out, to the great satisfaction of the other four who were pleased to have more elbow room so they could swing their steering wheels. Then Mr Mitsubishi quickly climbed in to take Chrysler’s place so they were as crowded as ever.
There was a great deal of indecision about where they wanted to go. The G.M.H. man always tried to head for a place there, he would try to wrench his wheel around. This met the loud approval of some of the bigger people in the next compartment, those component manufacturers who felt strong enough to stand on their own feet rather than on someone else’s feet. The other component people agreed with another from called “Wallop the Commercials”. Japanese drivers didn’t say anything, they just bent low over their steering wheels and concentrated on cutting corners. The others remaining in the second compartment seemed to hate all the others equally. There was a lot of shouting about 85% plans, some wanting more and some less. The only thing about which everyone could agree was that all past government decisions had proved wrong and what they now wanted was some right government decisions, only there was no agreement at all about what these should be.
The union officials in the third seat announced as soon as we had started that, wage indexation being finished, they were going to apply for an increase in their award. The manufacturers immediately said that such a wage increase would make them even more uncompetitive than ever so they would have to be protected by even higher trade barriers which would make their cars even dearer. “So what?” was the unions reply, “Make those sods (pointing to the car users) pay more.”
The car users burst into tears at this. “We are already subsidising you at the rate of $1,000 million a year or about $15,000 for everyone employed in making cars and components,” they protested angrily. Then one of the sharper ones who had read the Industries Assistance Commission draft report, said that the government practice of continually making cars dearer was limiting the demand for cars so that every year there were less people employed in making cars in spite of the lavish protection the industry receives. Another chap pointed out that there were twice as many people servicing cars as there were in making them and if people really wanted to help employment in the industry, it would do better to lower the price of cars by reducing the tariff on cars. This display of economic logic quietened the unionists, but only for a minute or two. Then they grabbed their coshes and hammered hell out of the cars users which is a kind of knee jerk reaction with them.
The State ministers quarrelled fiercely among themselves as we went along. Those from Queensland, W.A., Tas. and the N.T., whose citizens have to pay extra for their cars but whose state did not have big car plants to gain some benefit, were hopping mad. The N.S.W. man was more nifty and agreed with almost everyone. The ministers from Victoria and S.A. said that it was the duty of every loyal Australian to keep buying cars even if it ruined them. “Where’s your patriotism?” they angrily asked the car users. “But it won’t help employment in the car industry,” the car users wailed, “You have tried all those solutions before and they have all failed. Surely you can see how disastrous all your past interventions have been. And haven’t we got any rights? What about your fine Liberal philosophy about freedom of choice? You remind us of Henry Ford who told his customers that they could have the choice of any car colour they wanted as long as it was black! We can evidently have the choice of any kind of car we want as long as we are prepared to pay an extra $2,000 for it.”
All this time Sir Phillip was lying back in his back seat, chewing his cigar. He looked very wise and strong but perhaps he was just trying to make up his mind.
- Bert Kelly on Journalism
- Move for a body of Modest Members
- Modest Members Association
- Bert Kelly's Maiden Parliamentary Speech
- Government Intervention
- 1976 Monday Conference transcript featuring Bert Kelly
- Petrol for Farmers
- Some Sacred Cows
- Experiences in Parliament
- Spending your Money
- Who needs literary licence?
- A touch of Fred's anarchy
- Supply and Demand
- Bert Kelly on Disaster Relief
- Bert Kelly Wants to Secede
- Under Labor, is working hard foolish?
- An Idiot's Guide to Interventionism
- Bert Kelly Destroys the Side Benefits Argument for Government
- Bert Kelly gets his head around big-headed bird-brained politics
- First Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
- Second Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
- Third Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
- Fourth Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
- Fifth Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
- Sixth Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
- Bert Kelly on the 2011 Budget and Australia's Pathetic Journalists and Politicians
- Bert Kelly, Bastard or Simple Sod?
- Liberal Backbencher Hits Govt. Over Import Restrictions
- Bert Kelly feels a dam coming on at each election
- Bert Kelly Enters Parliament
- Why take in one another's washing?
- Bert Kelly breaks the law, disrespects government and enjoys it
- Gillard's galley-powered waterskiing
- Can price control really work?
- Should we put up with socialism?
- We're quick to get sick of socialism
- Time the protection racket ended
- Can't pull the wool over Farmer Fred
- People not Politics
- Bert Kelly admits he should have had less faith in politicians
- Labor: a girl who couldn't say no
- Why leading businessmen carry black briefcases
- Ludwig von Mises on page 3 of AFR
- Mavis wants the Modest Member to dedicate his book to her
- Time to Butcher "Aussie Beef"
- Bert Kelly reviews The War Diaries of Weary Dunlop
- Bert Kelly reviews We Were There
- Tariffs get the fork-tongue treatment
- Bert Kelly reduces government to its absurdities
- Politician sacrifices his ... honesty
- It's all a matter of principle
- Bert Kelly Destroys the Infant Industry Argument
- Bert Kelly Untangles Tariff Torment
- Bert Kelly resorts to prayer
- Eccles keeps our nose hard down on the tariff grindstone
- "Don't you believe in protecting us against imports from cheap labour countries?"
- Even if lucky, we needn't be stupid
- Great "freedom of choice" mystery
- Small government's growth problem
- Tariffs Introduced
- More About Tariffs
- Sacred cow kicker into print
- Modest Member must not give up
- Traditional Wheat Farming is Our Birthright and Heritage and Must be Protected!
- Bert Kelly brilliantly defends "theoretical academics"
- The Society of Modest Members
- John Hyde's illogical, soft, complicated, unfocussed and unsuccessful attempt to communicate why he defends markets
- Modesty ablaze
- Case for ministers staying home
- The unusual self-evident simplicity of the Modest Members Society
- Animal lib the new scourge of the bush
- The Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Krill
- Repeal economic laws, force people to buy new cars and enforce tariffs against overseas tennis players
- Thoughts on how to kill dinosaurs
- Let's try the chill winds
- Taking the Right's road
- Bert Kelly: "I did not try often or hard enough"
- Bert Kelly "lacked ... guts and wisdom"
- A look at life without tariffs
- The Gospel according to Bert
- Tiny note on Bert Kelly's column in The Bulletin in 1985
- Why costs can't be guaranteed
- Hitting out with a halo
- Paying farmers not to grow crops will save on subsidies, revenge tariffs, etc
- "The Modest Farmer joins us" | "How The Modest Farmer came to be"
- Bert Kelly Destroys the Freeloading Justifies Government Argument
- Government Intervention
vs
Government Interference - Bigger Cake = Bigger Slices
- Bert Kelly on the Political Process
- Charabanc: Part 1
- Charabanc: Part 2
- Charabanc: Part 3
- Relationships with the Liberal Party
- Tariffs = High Prices + World War
- Bert Kelly's Family History
- Bert Kelly's Pre-Parliament Life
- Why Bert Kelly was not even more publicly outspoken
- WEATHER IS USUALLY UNUSUAL
- How to stand aside when it's time to be counted
- How the Modest Member went back to being a Modest Farmer
- My pearls of wisdom were dull beyond belief
- Bert Kelly on Political Football
- Ross Gittins Wins Bert Kelly Award
- Interesting 1964 Bert Kelly speech: he says he is not a free trader and that he supports protection!
- This is the wall the Right built
- Has Santa socked it to car makers?
- Is the Budget a cargo cult?
- Will we end up subsidising one another?
- Do we want our money to fly?
- Can a bear be sure of a feed?
- How to impress your MP -
ambush him - The time for being nice to our MPs has gone ...
- Don't feel sorry for him -
hang on to his ear - Trade wars can easily end up on a battlefield
- Tariffs Create Unemployment
- Bert Kelly recommends Ayn Rand
- Bert Kelly's Satirical Prophecy: Minister for Meteorology (tick) and High Protectionist Policies to Result in War Yet Again (?)
- Bert Kelly in 1972 on Foreign Ownership of Australian Farmland and Warren Truss, Barnaby Joyce and Bill Heffernan in 2012
- Parliament a place for pragmatists
- Of Sugar Wells and Think-Tanks
- Bert Kelly: "I must take some of the blame"
- A Modest Farmer looks at the Problems of Structural Change
- Government Fails Spectacularly
- Know your proper place if you want the quiet life
- Bert Kelly on political speech writers
- Perish the thawed!
- Modest Farmer sees his ideas take hold
- Max Newton: Maverick in Exile
- Why no-one nails the Big Green Lie
- A case for ministerial inertia
- Why politicians don't like the truth
- Ominous dark clouds are gathering
- Better to be popular than right
- Crying in the wilderness
- Ivory tower needs thumping
- Bert Kelly asks, "How can you believe in free enterprise and government intervention at the same time?"
- Rural Problems
- Unholy state of taxation
- Boring economics worth a smile

Charabanc: Part 3 « Economics.org.au
December 14, 2011 @ 1:54 pm
[...] Last week we left the Australian Car Industry charabanc coasting along, with all its occupants arguing furiously with one another. We didn’t seem to be getting anywhere either, I think we were mostly travelling in circles. [...]