Other entries featuring Bert Kelly»

Bert Kelly, August 14, 1970. Economics Made Easy (Adelaide: Brolga Books, 1982), pp. 27-29, as “Small Farmers (1)”.

With my farmer constituents getting sourer — particularly with me — I realise I must pull a large, imposing white rabbit out of the political hat pretty soon. Mavis and I have had many discussions about which particular rabbit would attract most attention and so make me more attractive to my people. We have decided to espouse the cause of the small farmer and to demand that he be subsidised back to prosperity.

There is an important reason for this choice. There are more small farmers than big farmers and if I plead their cause successfully and so keep them on their farms, not only will they love me, but the businessmen in the country towns will also love me, for obvious reasons. So I shall get lots and lots of votes and this is good.

The first time I tried beating this new drum I was surprised at the enthusiastic reception that I received. It was almost moving. I admit that it was good stuff, there was enough about “birthright” and “heritage” and that kind of thing to let the audience know that I was just not treating the subject from a mundane, economic viewpoint, but was rather more a man of vision than perhaps they had realised.

Then to show that I was well abreast of today’s problems, as well as an authority on the past and prophet for the future, I gave them a burst about the “traditional wheat farmer” and how he could get particularly favourable treatment when wheat quotas were allotted. As the area in which I was speaking had been growing wheat for over 70 years, the hall was full of “traditional wheat farmers”, so this statesmanlike utterance was received with excited and prolonged applause. However, as I waited for the cheering to die down, I couldn’t help feeling glad that I was speaking in an old wheat district. If I had been in a new wheat district, where the people had lower quotas because they were not traditional growers, I suppose I would have had to handle the subject rather differently.

I was gratified with the reception of most of the audience, but Fred’s reaction was not only gratifying — it was downright surprising. You see, Fred is not a small farmer so I could not quite make out what made him so excited. After each of my promises to help the small man, he would give off a loud, “Hear, hear,” and I thought I heard “Amen” once or twice.

After the vote of thanks, which took a good while, Fred took me around the audience and introduced me proudly to everyone, which is something he hasn’t done since I got into parliament. Then he took me home for supper and after a lot of questioning I found the reason for his excitement.

Fred has an English farmer friend who farms about 2,000 acres in a southern county. This is a really big farm for England. About every other year his friend comes to Australia to get away from the English winter and to “avoid” (I think that’s the word) taxation. He usually reaches Fred’s farm some time in March where everything is looking dry and miserable and Fred says that he (Fred) always looks hopefully underneath the plate after a meal because he hopes his friend will feel sorry for him and leave a 20 cent tip there.

After the meal they sit down and compare the figures from their farms. The Englishman not only farms well but he keeps his books well. In one column he enters the subsidy that he receives from the British government, and the size of the subsidy staggered Fred. “No wonder you can scoot around the world all the time,” Fred said, “you surely can’t justify this kind of generous treatment from the government.”

His friend replied, “Fred, my boy, I shall be all right as long as there are enough small poor struggling farmers around me.”

Now I see why Fred was so excited. He realises that if the government starts subsidising the small farmer back to prosperity, most of the money will go to the larger farmer. No wonder he reckoned I was a statesman!

I talked the matter over with Eccles who told me that most of the dairy subsidy went to those who needed it least. He said that if the nation felt that it was necessary for social reasons to safeguard the position of the small farmer, then it would have to be treated as a social and not as an economic problem. The generally accepted subsidy solution would not be suitable.

So it looks as if Mavis and I will have to find another rabbit to pull out of the hat. This one died soon after its first performance.

(in order of appearance on Economics.org.au)
  1. Bert Kelly on Journalism
  2. Move for a body of Modest Members
  3. Modest Members Association
  4. Bert Kelly's Maiden Parliamentary Speech
  5. Government Intervention
  6. 1976 Monday Conference transcript featuring Bert Kelly
  7. Petrol for Farmers
  8. Some Sacred Cows
  9. Experiences in Parliament
  10. Spending your Money
  11. Who needs literary licence?
  12. A touch of Fred's anarchy
  13. Supply and Demand
  14. Bert Kelly on Disaster Relief
  15. Bert Kelly Wants to Secede
  16. Under Labor, is working hard foolish?
  17. An Idiot's Guide to Interventionism
  18. Bert Kelly Destroys the Side Benefits Argument for Government
  19. Bert Kelly gets his head around big-headed bird-brained politics
  20. First Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
  21. Second Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
  22. Third Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
  23. Fourth Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
  24. Fifth Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
  25. Sixth Modest Member (Bert Kelly) AFR Column
  26. Bert Kelly on the 2011 Budget and Australia's Pathetic Journalists and Politicians
  27. Bert Kelly, Bastard or Simple Sod?
  28. Liberal Backbencher Hits Govt. Over Import Restrictions
  29. Bert Kelly feels a dam coming on at each election
  30. Bert Kelly Enters Parliament
  31. Why take in one another's washing?
  32. Bert Kelly breaks the law, disrespects government and enjoys it
  33. Gillard's galley-powered waterskiing
  34. Can price control really work?
  35. Should we put up with socialism?
  36. We're quick to get sick of socialism
  37. Time the protection racket ended
  38. Can't pull the wool over Farmer Fred
  39. People not Politics
  40. Bert Kelly admits he should have had less faith in politicians
  41. Labor: a girl who couldn't say no
  42. Why leading businessmen carry black briefcases
  43. Ludwig von Mises on page 3 of AFR
  44. Mavis wants the Modest Member to dedicate his book to her
  45. Time to Butcher "Aussie Beef"
  46. Bert Kelly reviews The War Diaries of Weary Dunlop
  47. Bert Kelly reviews We Were There
  48. Tariffs get the fork-tongue treatment
  49. Bert Kelly reduces government to its absurdities
  50. Politician sacrifices his ... honesty
  51. It's all a matter of principle
  52. Bert Kelly Destroys the Infant Industry Argument
  53. Bert Kelly Untangles Tariff Torment
  54. Bert Kelly resorts to prayer
  55. Eccles keeps our nose hard down on the tariff grindstone
  56. "Don't you believe in protecting us against imports from cheap labour countries?"
  57. Even if lucky, we needn't be stupid
  58. Great "freedom of choice" mystery
  59. Small government's growth problem
  60. Tariffs Introduced
  61. More About Tariffs
  62. Sacred cow kicker into print
  63. Modest Member must not give up
  64. Traditional Wheat Farming is Our Birthright and Heritage and Must be Protected!
  65. Bert Kelly brilliantly defends "theoretical academics"
  66. The Society of Modest Members
  67. John Hyde's illogical, soft, complicated, unfocussed and unsuccessful attempt to communicate why he defends markets
  68. Modesty ablaze
  69. Case for ministers staying home
  70. The unusual self-evident simplicity of the Modest Members Society
  71. Animal lib the new scourge of the bush
  72. The Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Krill
  73. Repeal economic laws, force people to buy new cars and enforce tariffs against overseas tennis players
  74. Thoughts on how to kill dinosaurs
  75. Let's try the chill winds
  76. Taking the Right's road
  77. Bert Kelly: "I did not try often or hard enough"
  78. Bert Kelly "lacked ... guts and wisdom"
  79. A look at life without tariffs
  80. The Gospel according to Bert
  81. Tiny note on Bert Kelly's column in The Bulletin in 1985
  82. Why costs can't be guaranteed
  83. Hitting out with a halo
  84. Paying farmers not to grow crops will save on subsidies, revenge tariffs, etc
  85. "The Modest Farmer joins us" | "How The Modest Farmer came to be"
  86. Bert Kelly Destroys the Freeloading Justifies Government Argument
  87. Government Intervention
    vs
    Government Interference
  88. Bigger Cake = Bigger Slices
  89. Bert Kelly on the Political Process
  90. Charabanc: Part 1
  91. Charabanc: Part 2
  92. Charabanc: Part 3
  93. Relationships with the Liberal Party
  94. Tariffs = High Prices + World War
  95. Bert Kelly's Family History
  96. Bert Kelly's Pre-Parliament Life
  97. Why Bert Kelly was not even more publicly outspoken
  98. WEATHER IS USUALLY UNUSUAL
  99. How to stand aside when it's time to be counted
  100. How the Modest Member went back to being a Modest Farmer
  101. My pearls of wisdom were dull beyond belief
  102. Bert Kelly on Political Football
  103. Ross Gittins Wins Bert Kelly Award
  104. Interesting 1964 Bert Kelly speech: he says he is not a free trader and that he supports protection!
  105. This is the wall the Right built
  106. Has Santa socked it to car makers?
  107. Is the Budget a cargo cult?
  108. Will we end up subsidising one another?
  109. Do we want our money to fly?
  110. Can a bear be sure of a feed?
  111. How to impress your MP -
    ambush him
  112. The time for being nice to our MPs has gone ...
  113. Don't feel sorry for him -
    hang on to his ear
  114. Trade wars can easily end up on a battlefield
  115. Tariffs Create Unemployment
  116. Bert Kelly recommends Ayn Rand
  117. Bert Kelly's Satirical Prophecy: Minister for Meteorology (tick) and High Protectionist Policies to Result in War Yet Again (?)
  118. Bert Kelly in 1972 on Foreign Ownership of Australian Farmland and Warren Truss, Barnaby Joyce and Bill Heffernan in 2012
  119. Parliament a place for pragmatists
  120. Of Sugar Wells and Think-Tanks
  121. Bert Kelly: "I must take some of the blame"
  122. A Modest Farmer looks at the Problems of Structural Change
  123. Government Fails Spectacularly
  124. Know your proper place if you want the quiet life
  125. Bert Kelly on political speech writers
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