Bert Kelly and Paddy McGuinness, two of the few Australians with distinctive writing styles, on the kangaroo population bomb and reducing waste:
1. Tie me kangaroo down, sport? (December 17, 1971)
2. Open season on kangaroos makes sense (January 26, 1973)
3. Skippy, a sure-fire way to make meat exports jump (April 5, 2001)

1.
A Modest Member of Parliament [Bert Kelly], “Tie me kangaroo down, sport?,” The Australian Financial Review, December 17, 1971, p. 3.

For many months Mavis has been urging me to take up the cause of the kangaroo. She knows that public opinion is all on the side of the kangaroo for several reasons.

Many of these are excellent, and I wouldn’t quarrel with one of them. But there is also a lot of silly sentiment about the subject.

For instance, some people say that the kangaroo is the national emblem so should be sacred.

Others say that kangaroos have such a pretty way of holding their front paws and are “so sweet.”

And again, so many of our people live in the cities — this must be awful for them, but because of what they have to endure they feel that they should be able to see kangaroos bouncing about whenever they want to.

This would make these poor people feel natural and normal again.

And lastly, a lot of shrewd business men realise that kangaroos are good for attracting tourists, particularly from overseas.

So they feel that Fred should keep kangaroos in large numbers so that tourists could be encouraged to come here to be milked.

So it is clear to Mavis that, with all this sympathy on the side of kangaroos, I should urge the Government to prohibit their “slaughter.”

“There would be lots of votes in it, dear,” she sighed.

Fred saw things differently. He has many kangaroos on his place. Strangely enough, he doesn’t hate them although they often damage his fences and water troughs.

And after a nasty accident one night, he knows that nothing takes up quite so much room in the front seat of a car as a kangaroo which has suddenly come through the windscreen.

He doesn’t hate them — they are fascinating beggars. But all the same, he doesn’t want too many of them.

So when he heard last year that the Government had appointed a parliamentary committee to inquire into their conservation, he had a sinking feeling that a lot of “do-gooding” politicians were going to pound around the country with handkerchiefs to their eyes, gathering votes by the bucketful.

They would present a report that would place the kangaroo on a pedestal and Fred in the bankruptcy court.

Well, the committee has now presented its report. Mavis is a bit disappointed because it doesn’t make her cry as much as she had hoped.

But she has been interested to learn that there is no danger of the extinction of any kangaroo species, at least, not on the mainland.

And she was very impressed when she was told that there are now probably more kangaroos in Australia than when the white man came because he has supplied water in arid areas and so kangaroos can now graze there.

She was also interested to learn that kangaroos, if not controlled, will breed up until they have eaten the country out. So some would die of starvation if some weren’t killed.

Fred read the report with great interest and increasing respect. He said to me in a puzzled way:

I didn’t think members of Parliament would have enough sense to write such a sensible report.

They must be quite reasonable people really, not like they sound on the radio. And the report was short too, and used short, simple words.

I could understand it all. Why don’t politicians behave like that all the time?

I didn’t have an answer to that. Eccles says that he finds that politicians are quite sensible, except when they talk politics!

The committee recommends that kangaroos continue to be killed under a controlled program.

When they are killed, it is silly not to use the carcasses, so these are sent overseas, packed in tins and sold as pet food. That sounds sensible.

But kangaroos can only be exported as live animals if they are going to a zoo in another country. This is to ensure that they get as good a home as possible in their new country.

Yet if you were to give a kangaroo the choice between being killed and packed in a tin and exported in that way, or being exported live, under controlled conditions, at least while he was travelling, then I think he would take a chance on the latter.

We do the same with galahs.

We are allowed to shoot them if they are eating our crops, but we can’t export them alive on a padded perch in a gilded cage because it is thought to be cruel to galahs.

Some galahs talk quite well. Fred says we should ask one of them what he thinks about it!

***
2.
A Modest Member of Parliament [Bert Kelly], “Open season on kangaroos makes sense,” The Australian Financial Review, January 26, 1973, p. 3.

In December 1971 I complimented the Parliamentary Committee on Wild Life Conservation on the quality of their report on kangaroos.

Even Fred was surprised that MPs could write so simply and sensibly; he had been dreading another verbose and half-baked barrage of sentiment.

Many people contend that there are more kangaroos in Australia than were here when the white man came because the pastoralist has provided water where there was none before.

Sturt and Stuart and other explorers were unable to find kangaroos to shoot for the pot when going through areas where there are now many.

The station owner has provided the water to make it possible for kangaroos to live there.

I will now quote several paragraphs from the committee’s report:

That in view of its acceptance of the scientific opinion that no large species of kangaroo is at present under threat of extinction the committee sees no immediate need for a nationwide closed season on kangaroo harvesting.

That the imposition of a Commonwealth ban on the export of kangaroo products would not of itself ensure the conservation of kangaroos. Reduction of numbers would still be necessary.

If not carried out by the industry this would need to be done by property owners, or by State wildlife authorities at public expense.

That the base justification for the kangaroo industry’s continued existence is that kangaroos are, at certain times and in some places, sufficiently numerous to be regarded as pests and that it is justifiable to permit reduction of their numbers.

This being the case, the greatest possible use should be made of those destroyed.

Summing it up, the committee recognised that if the numbers of kangaroos were not controlled then they would eat themselves out of tucker and this would limit their numbers.

So, as they have to be controlled, it was foolish and wasteful not to sell their skins.

There was one recommendation with which Fred did not agree.

The committee said that no kangaroo skins should be exported until Australian manufacturers who use kangaroo skins, such as koala bear toymakers, where able to buy all the skins they wanted.

Fred cannot see why those people couldn’t buy all the skins they want if they were prepared to pay for them. He cannot see why they should get them cheaper than overseas users.

He says you might just as well claim that our wool textile industry should get wool cheaper than the true price to give them an advantage over their overseas competitors.

But, apart from this rather queer recommendation, he is full of praise for the committee’s report.

He is now completely baffled at the action of the Government which will prohibit, after April 1, the export of all kangaroo skins.

About 400,000 kangaroo skins are now used in Australia and 700,000 are exported. It is clear that Australian industry cannot hope to use all these exported skins.

There is also the problem of quality. The koala bear manufacturers want a furry skins, ie, a winter skin. What’s to be done with the summer-killed skins if they cannot be exported?

So, from April 1, kangaroo skins will be of little value, so fewer kangaroos will be shot — so more will be eating grass and competing with one another or with sheep for the limited amount of feed available.

The result will be that more kangaroos will starve, or will limit their own numbers in some other way.

One of the reasons given for this precipitate and ill-considered action is that overseas companies were said to be making too much money from kangaroo skins.

This seems a funny reason. Perhaps we ought to stop exporting wool for this reason also.

Fred says that it is a pity that so many sentimental people talk so much nonsense about conservation.

He instanced how stupid it was to prohibit the export of galahs, however luxuriously crated, yet we can shoot them in thousands.

And it is evidently acceptable to wring a chicken’s neck, but you mustn’t export a galah in a cage.

True conservationists know that the surplus kangaroos have to be harvested. That’s what conservation is all about, the wise use of resources so that they are not wasted.

But the cause of conservation is damaged by these “bleeding hearts” people who feel deeply about things, but think hardly at all.

***
3.
Padraic P. McGuinness, “Skippy, a sure-fire way to make meat exports jump,” The Sydney Morning Herald, April 5, 2001, p. 14.

Europe’s livestock problems offer Australia a golden opportunity to open up a profitable new market, writes Padraic P. McGuinness.

“What’s wrong with eating the national symbol? We do it all the time,” remarked a French friend at the peak of one of our periodic bouts of frenzy about eating kangaroos and other native animals. In France, of course, the symbol is the cock, or rooster; and its quitessential presentation is with red wine as coq au vin.

But then the French have always had a catholic attitude to their diet, typified by the decision during the siege of Paris in 1870 to eat the exotic animals in the zoo. In times of famine this is simply commonsense. But even in times of plenty there is no reason to limit our diet for emotional or sentimental reasons (as distinct from humane reasons). Kangaroos are not a threatened species — though some related species are — and are so plentiful they are regarded as a pest by many farmers. It has often been pointed out that it would make more sense to use them rather than cattle as a principal source of meat. Kangaroos do no harm to the fragile earth, to which they are fully adapted, while cattle do harm the land.

In the past there were difficulties with harvesting kangaroos. They can’t be herded and are not docile like cattle, the hunting and slaughtering conditions were less hygienic than the processing of cattle, and the distance between the point of slaughter (by gun) and the point of refrigeration was in general too great for safety.

All these problems have been overcome and, despite occasional dark warnings, properly inspected kangaroo meat is both healthy and palatable. (Skippy in red wine is delicious.)

Now we have a unique opportunity to take advantage of the misfortunes of others, as the scare about mad cow disease and its transmissibility to humans is combining with outbreaks of foot-and-mouth disease in Europe to produce a revulsion against beef, which is spilling over into other locally produced meats. Europeans, who have been partial to game meats, are embracing kangaroo enthusiastically.

It is now possible that kangaroo meat production and export may emerge as an important Australian industry, with land now used for running cattle used instead for the extensive running of kangaroos, whose numbers tend to increase explosively with the availability of plenty of water. This could only be seen as a valuable move towards more ecologically viable use of the land.

But there are some peculiar people out there. There are many in Europe and America who have, with the encouragement of some Australian propagandists, convinced themselves that kangaroos are a threatened species.

Because most Australians know perfectly well that kangaroos are anything but threatened, it is difficult to realise how ignorant many people are overseas. You can hardly get further away than Finland, and once I was informed solemnly in Helsinki that Australia’s kangaroos were dying out because they were all going blind. When I got home it transpired that there had been a limited problem along these lines with some mobs of kangaroos, but the well-intentioned Finn obviously had no concept of the numbers of kangaroos or their wide distribution. She had been misled by one of those many sources of alarm-mongering about the environment and endangered species.

While there is no particular point in proposing to eat koalas — it is usually just a joke, because they are such furry, cuddly little beasts until encountered close up — nor should there be any particular horror at the idea.

Despite those who run around claiming that koalas are threatened, in fact they breed so rapidly given adequate food supplies that they constantly raise problems that should be answered simply by culling — shooting them out of the trees.

Such is the sentimentality about these things, however, that resettling of surplus koala populations is the usual, totally inappropriate, response. While they are prone to some diseases that reduce their fertility, there is simply no threat to the koala species (other than the cartoonist Patrick Cook, who has achieved the almost impossible feat of making them look sinister).

Indeed, if we are going to establish a large export-oriented kangaroo meat trade, perhaps we had better hurry up. New Zealand had the great idea of branding Chinese gooseberries as kiwifruit and has a great export success. It led, however, to the wholesale production of such fruit in other countries which took much of the market. It is difficult to see this happening to kangaroos, but a friend who consults to the meat industry tells me that not only are emus being raised and successfully marketed in the United States, but they are referred to as “the American Emu”, as if they had evolved there like turkeys.

In other words, our native fauna may find itself being produced and marketed internationally by hard-headed and unsentimental Americans. Far from endangering the various species, however, this will ensure their survival, even if not their identification with Australia. Which would be worse: to eat our national symbol or to have America marketing it to the world as its own?

The South Australian naturalist, Dr John Wamsley, long ago realised commercialisation might be the answer to environmental and species survival issues. To put a dollar value on endangered species will encourage their protection and production, as well as a less tolerant attitude to the feral cats and other animals that threaten them. Much the same may well apply to our native birds.

At present there is a ban on the export of some species of birds, which encourages bird smuggling. Why not sell them legally instead? The export bans were the product of an earlier wave of fear for their survival and fear of markets, and have largely been counterproductive. If there is no immediate danger to the survival of such birds, and their breeding as well as capture for export is possible, their long-term prospects are likely to be much better.