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by Mark Tier

Should Australia become a republic?

Absolutely not!

On the contrary, the Queen (or, gulp, King) of Australia should be retained indefinitely. Why? Because, as the titular head of state, she’s the perfect model that every politician and bureaucrat should follow.

Consider these two questions:

1. How much does she cost the Australian taxpayer?

Nothing. Zero. Zip. Nada.

2. How much power does she have to mess with our lives?

None. Zero. Zip. Nada.

But I repeat myself.

When “bonnie prince Charley” ascends to the throne nothing will change (in Australia!) — even if he’s in his dotage (that, along with his upkeep, will be the Poms’ problem, not ours).

The only time the Queen of Australia actually costs us anything is when she comes to visit.

Come to think of it, that’s worth emulating too.

Let’s make an all-expenses-paid, two-to-three week trip to Australia a perk of elective or bureaucrative office (is there such a word as “bureaucrative”? sounds like there oughta be, don’t you think?).

Once every ten or twenty years — provided they don’t darken our shores in the meantime.

I wouldn’t mind that. Too much.

Hell, I’d even be willing to kick into the cost of their air travel.

One way.

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Mark Tier is the author of The Winning Investment Habits of Warren Buffett & George Soros and co-author with George Forrai of When God Speaks for Himself: The Words of God You’ll Never Hear in Church or Sunday School.